So lately I've been really under the weather spiritually. I mean it's like kidney stones or something; it hurts to pray, some days its okay and other days its not so great. Today I think I passed them through.
This morning I started my day at McDonald's, my choice in cheap and food to go. I'm sitting there at my table when two girls come and sit in the booth next to me. On to the table plops two bibles complete with journals included. They are having a full out Bible study in the middle of McDonald's. Pretty freaking awesome. On my way out, I tell them "I am so encouraged by you girls this morning, to study openly and this early (11am) in the morning is so encouraging." And then I was on my way. I sit through 4.5 hours of grueling lectures in which I had to prepare for the night before.
I'm exhausted, spent, completely out of energy. I get home and all I want to do is sleep. Looking around my apartment I put together a meal and watch the Colbert Report as a way to relax for a little while. I'm readying all my books to head out to study for the night, and as I'm riding my bike to the library, I pass up these two guys praising in the middle of the Oval. Something in my head is going "Go and pray with them." I turn the bike around slowly and then head back. To make this long story short, I end up worshiping and praying with these guys for a whole 40 minutes.
In the middle of it all, one of the guys says to me: "what's up, you look really tired, how's your heart? how's your soul?" It was so good to confess the things on my heart right at that moment. It was if God had known that I needed this release, and in this way too. I mean it was incredible the way that He had orchestrated all of this. 2 girls in the morning encouraging me to read the Word, and 2 guys at the end of my day encouraging me to have faith in the midst of hardship and tribulation. I mean.. wow. God you work in such mysterious ways, but I'm glad that You do.
Jesus, I am so much more in love with you than I think I have ever been. Seriously, the way you love on me, its not even fair. I know its your Grace, and I don't deserve it, but You give it to me anyways. That's how awesome you are. Psalm 42 -- Why are you downcast, O my soul? why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God.
I'm finally understanding what it takes to know who God is. and it's such a great feeling.
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